Well, here it is - the long avoided post about anonymity.
When I first started this blog, my hope was that, through allowing anonymous comments, we would be able to hear voices that otherwise might be reticent to ask questions or seek help. And so, I allowed for "anonymous" comments. Unfortunately, over the last several months, this idea of anonymity hasn't really worked out the way I had intended it. Instead of attracting people who felt afraid to ask questions or seek help, it seems to have been attracting readers who want to make a strongly worded comment (usually very negative) but who don't want to identify themselves.
I truly am not offended by people that have concerns, problems, or irritations with what we're doing here. Honestly, I'm not. People that are offended by our message are the very reason that this group exists. Safe places are necessary in these conversations, and each person is entitled to his/her opinion and convictions. I embrace and welcome that. I see great value in the variety of perspectives, opinions, theological persuasions, etc. and I think it's all a part of the bigger vision we are working towards. Nevertheless, I've been noticing that it seems to be that only the people who disagree heartily (one way or another) with what I've said (or, more frequently, what they've perceived I have said) that are using the Anonymous button. There is a second issue that has arisen as well - the limitation of having several "Anonymous" people post comments all on the same blog post. It gets confusing when I'm trying to respond to the comments individually.
With all that in mind, and after some soul-searching, prayer, and thoughtfulness, I've made a decision. In order that that I might be enabled to respond effectively to both people who love what we're doing, and people who despise it, and also to encourage some accountability for people "owning" the criticisms they submit, I've disabled the "Anonymous" commenting. If we're going to have helpful dialogue, we should at least be able to address one another by screen name, if nothing else. And if you feel strongly about something, I think you should feel strongly enough about it that you tell me your name, or at least a screen name. Comments will continue to be unfiltered and unmoderated, unless things get out of hand. I remain committed to publishing all comments, unless they become hateful and/or slanderous. I won't hesitate to delete those but everything else is fair game! And, just so you know, to date I've not had to delete any comments.
I think I've set it up correctly so that everyone can still comment, but you will have to provide a username of sorts. If anyone is having trouble commenting, please let me know. In fact, leave me a comment on this post if you would, just so I know you all are still out there. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but unfortunately the conversation is not effective the way it was setup previously, and it is time to correct course. The second half of our name is "Risk Offense" so I guess I'm taking my own advice as I make this change.
So leave some love. Or some hate. Either one, let's hear 'em both. But leave me your name too. :)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Meeting Notes - 4/25/11
Many of you have asked for an update on how our first meeting went, what was discussed, how you can get involved, etc. Well, take a look at the notes below. It will (hopefully) tell you everything you need to know about what we need, where we're heading, and how you can help!
Thanks to everyone who came out this week! What a blessing to share this with others who are so excited about this vision! Much love to you all!
LOVE boldly Meeting Notes
04/25/2011
Blog
- Frequency: would like to have at least one new entry posted per week
- Good writers and good quality posts needed
- Have to be willing to let Heidi edit entries
Small Groups
- For those who are working to reconcile their faith and sexual orientation and are feeling the need for support, encouragement, and resources towards that goal
- Need place to have it
o Wilmore is preferred but not on campus
- We should not call it a college group, should be open to all ages
- Need safe, agenda-less people to help lead it and people to help advertise, champion, and support the vision
- Will use various discussion starters, including watching videos/documentaries on issues related to faith and sexuality
o GCN’s “Through My Eyes”
o Show films from both perspectives and discuss the range of opinions on the various topics of interest
Gay Pride
- We want to partner with another church or ministry
o Financial support from churches and/or other ministries could help us fund the outreach
o Could share the booth as two separate groups trying to be loving towards the LGBT community
- Needs: Tent to cover booth in case of rain
o Volunteers needed all day
- T-shirts and/or signs with apology on it
- Hand out water?
Seminars
- Present to churches/faith communities who have a conservative view of the Scriptures that address homosexuality
o Intention is not to change their minds
o Teach them how to serve the LGBT community in love and meet practical needs, even if their convictions are that same-sex sexual activity is wrong in God’s eyes
- Venues needed to present these seminars
o Conferences
o Churches – both gay affirming and/or conservative
o Would like to have one at Asbury Seminary
Other Needs
- Prayer Support
- Fundraising
o Needed for events, materials, education, travel, etc.
o Small donations from many people might be easier than large donors
o Grant writing – need someone who is experienced/skilled
- Marketing Materials
o Identity materials – Website, business cards, etc.
o Flyers for events
o Someone to handle publicity, advertising, etc.
- Organizational Structuring
o Two options:
§ Option 1 - Become our own non-profit
· Would need to talk to an accountant and probably a lawyer
· Is a long and expensive process
§ Option 2 - Partner with another non-profit (come underneath their umbrella)
· We will be reticent to form alliances – must be with trustworthy organizations and individuals; will not jump into this quickly but would like to entertain it as a viable option
· Not willing to partner with a church or with a gay-affirming organization; needs to be a neutral organization of some sort; otherwise, we will alienate one side or the other
· Discussion around whether it would be possible to form alliance with two organizations/churches – one pro-gay and one traditionally minded Christian, in order to balance alliances; could be an option, but will be difficult to find two organizations willing to participate in such a way
- Leadership
o Board of Directors will be necessary eventually
o Hope to find at least 2 mentors (each with differing opinions on the theological issues), to impart wisdom, support in prayer, help champion our efforts, and help strike balance in everything we do
o If you are interested in being a part of leadership, feel free to express that to Heidi, but only if you are willing to be turned down without feelings being hurt; leaders will be chosen deliberately and cautiously, and only after demonstrating trustworthiness with this cause and the sensitivity of the issues that surround it
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Launch Meeting!
Hello friends!
Many of you have expressed an interest in getting involved in the work of building safe environments to discuss sexual orientation and faith so here's your chance!
We are gathering on Monday, April 25th at 7:30 PM. If you are local to the Lexington, KY area, and want to hear what we're about, why we're doing what we're doing, and how you can get involved, leave a comment with a way to contact you (phone or email), and I will get you the address for where the meeting will be held! This is an informational/planning and launch meeting so come with your calendars if you want to get involved in planning/launching our first events.
Know someone else that might be interested? Invite them too! Looking forward to seeing you there!
Many of you have expressed an interest in getting involved in the work of building safe environments to discuss sexual orientation and faith so here's your chance!
We are gathering on Monday, April 25th at 7:30 PM. If you are local to the Lexington, KY area, and want to hear what we're about, why we're doing what we're doing, and how you can get involved, leave a comment with a way to contact you (phone or email), and I will get you the address for where the meeting will be held! This is an informational/planning and launch meeting so come with your calendars if you want to get involved in planning/launching our first events.
Know someone else that might be interested? Invite them too! Looking forward to seeing you there!
Monday, April 4, 2011
What's Happening - April
April. It's April. It's April?!
I've been rather quiet lately and I promise, it's not for lack of dedication. Working full-time, doing school half-time and trying to be somewhat of a semblance of a normal, well-adjusted person just doesn't leave a lot of time for the things I love to do - like blog. I've been wanting to write posts, itching to write them, but over the past few months I have sensed God calling me to focus more on some things developing "behind the scenes" so to speak. But alas, I have been far too absent. I decided today that even if I don't have time to come up with brilliant, provocative, encouraging, inspiring posts, I must post nonetheless and tell you what things are happening. And so, the "What's Happening" post strikes again.
First, readership is growing. Weird, seeing as how I haven't been writing. But hey, I'll take it. I'm glad you are all reading, and I'm glad you're telling your friends to read too. Keep doing that! I hope that somehow my words encourage you, bring you hope, or inspire you to reach to someone you didn't know how to reach to before, or open your heart to someone who is worthy of your trust.
Second, though I haven't been writing on here very much, I have been writing. I am in the throes of developing seminars for churches and faith organizations (especially traditional evangelical organizations with a traditional view of the Scriptures that address homosexuality). The topic would be basic training and education on how to go about engaging the LGBT community in a way that is loving and serving, without feeling the need to sacrifice convictions. I'm not sure what this is going to look like in the end. I've completed a very rough draft at this point and it looks to be somewhere around 2.5 hours of teaching and I'm still filling in the holes. There's still much work to do and I am considering creating a much smaller version (perhaps an hour-ish in length) to share with some churches first. Then, everyone who says, "Hey that chick has something worthwhile to share and I wanna know more" can come to the super-awesome half-day seminar (or, the way it's going, it may end up being a whole-day seminar) that will be more in depth. Or something like that. Who knows? It is my hope though, to start teaching this stuff within the next month or two. So, if you know a church or faith organization that wants some training on how to engage the LGBT community, well, tell them wonderful things about me. And then contact me and give me their information.
Third, I have been reading and researching, as always. Right now I am reading Andrew Marin's "Love is an Orientation" book for the second time. The first time I read it, I was getting educated. That was 2 years ago. This second time that I'm working through it is different. I find myself relating to the stories he shares and saying, "Yeah, I've met people like this with similar stories." I find myself relating to his story more personally as well, having now personally encountered some of the same challenges and obstacles that he mentions. It really is a must-read for any evangelical Christian who wants to understand how to build friendships with those in the LGBT community. A warning though - it will break your heart and change you forever. Beware.
I've also been reading lots of other books and articles on the therapy options available for those who are experiencing difficulty coming to terms with their same-sex attraction. This has been...interesting. The range of emotions that I experience while reading about the options available is, well...diverse. I travel from totally infuriated to totally hopeful in a matter of minutes sometimes. I can't help but get really "mama-bear-ish" when I read about the ways people have suffered spiritual abuse at the hands of well-intentioned, poorly qualified/educated Christians who have not dealt with the issue ethically, appropriately, or compassionately. And yes, by "mama-bear-ish" I mean, "I will growl at you and destroy you if you try that again on someone I love. (Growl growl. Bare my teeth!)"
The good news is that there are some good things out there and I have particularly been enjoying reading about Sexual Identity Therapy, which is actual therapy (counseling by a mental health professional) and is gaining some endorsement by key members of the American Psychological Association. Rather than seeking to change orientation, it provides a supportive and encouraging environment for clients who are experiencing difficulty integrating their religious values with their sexual identity. It creates space for the client to determine their values, and for the therapist to assist the client in reaching congruence between his/her values and his/her sexuality. If you want to know more, you can read more here: http://tinyurl.com/3qwe6f2. Ideally, I'd really like to write an article (or perhaps a book someday) on the implications (ethical, moral, spiritual, and social) of the various forms of therapy available for those encountering same-sex attraction, and offer critique of the various organizations offering the different models, their measures of efficacy, etc. But, that's for another day, or probably, another year. Oh pipe dreams!
One other thing I have been doing is intentionally building relationships. I've been meeting with people at my Seminary and the University across the street, in hopes of garnering support for some of the events I have in the works. One of the things I'm working towards is starting a small-group to discuss topics of faith and sexual orientation in a non-threatening way. I want to get this started asap but we are still seeking the right venue to hold it at - a place where people from the college, the seminary, and the community at large can all feel comfortable coming somewhat anonymously. Additionally, I'm hoping that I can advertise the event on both campuses, but will need to go through the proper channels to get that approved, which could take some time.
I've also been immersing myself in the LGBT community, attending LGBT events, etc. here in Lexington to build new relationships. I went to a drag show a few weeks ago with my husband and a friend of his from work. It was not my first time seeing drag, but it was my first time sitting through an entire show, which was a good experience. We went because one of our friends was performing. I know it meant a lot to him that we came. I also was thrilled to have the opportunity to visit the local LGBT support group in Lexington. I got to make some new friends, which is always wonderful. I was grateful for how welcoming and friendly they were to the one straight girl in the room!
Lastly, I am working towards a presence at the Lexington Pride festival. I am going outside of my skin with excitement. I'd really like to have a booth where we offer apologies for how the church has hurt the LGBT community and hand out free food/drinks to bless and serve those that are at the event. My goal is to show them that, despite the ugly signs and protesters, God doesn't hate them, he actually thinks they're pretty amazing.
So, that is what is UP. Whew, I'm worn out just re-counting all of that. Please be praying! There is much that is 'in the works' right now and my prayer is that God would bring it all to fruition in His timing. It has been really neat to see how God is bringing together a group of people around me who are equally excited and dedicated to building these safe environments to discuss faith and sexual orientation. I can't wait to see what happens next! Until next time....LOVE BOLDLY.
I've been rather quiet lately and I promise, it's not for lack of dedication. Working full-time, doing school half-time and trying to be somewhat of a semblance of a normal, well-adjusted person just doesn't leave a lot of time for the things I love to do - like blog. I've been wanting to write posts, itching to write them, but over the past few months I have sensed God calling me to focus more on some things developing "behind the scenes" so to speak. But alas, I have been far too absent. I decided today that even if I don't have time to come up with brilliant, provocative, encouraging, inspiring posts, I must post nonetheless and tell you what things are happening. And so, the "What's Happening" post strikes again.
First, readership is growing. Weird, seeing as how I haven't been writing. But hey, I'll take it. I'm glad you are all reading, and I'm glad you're telling your friends to read too. Keep doing that! I hope that somehow my words encourage you, bring you hope, or inspire you to reach to someone you didn't know how to reach to before, or open your heart to someone who is worthy of your trust.
Second, though I haven't been writing on here very much, I have been writing. I am in the throes of developing seminars for churches and faith organizations (especially traditional evangelical organizations with a traditional view of the Scriptures that address homosexuality). The topic would be basic training and education on how to go about engaging the LGBT community in a way that is loving and serving, without feeling the need to sacrifice convictions. I'm not sure what this is going to look like in the end. I've completed a very rough draft at this point and it looks to be somewhere around 2.5 hours of teaching and I'm still filling in the holes. There's still much work to do and I am considering creating a much smaller version (perhaps an hour-ish in length) to share with some churches first. Then, everyone who says, "Hey that chick has something worthwhile to share and I wanna know more" can come to the super-awesome half-day seminar (or, the way it's going, it may end up being a whole-day seminar) that will be more in depth. Or something like that. Who knows? It is my hope though, to start teaching this stuff within the next month or two. So, if you know a church or faith organization that wants some training on how to engage the LGBT community, well, tell them wonderful things about me. And then contact me and give me their information.
Third, I have been reading and researching, as always. Right now I am reading Andrew Marin's "Love is an Orientation" book for the second time. The first time I read it, I was getting educated. That was 2 years ago. This second time that I'm working through it is different. I find myself relating to the stories he shares and saying, "Yeah, I've met people like this with similar stories." I find myself relating to his story more personally as well, having now personally encountered some of the same challenges and obstacles that he mentions. It really is a must-read for any evangelical Christian who wants to understand how to build friendships with those in the LGBT community. A warning though - it will break your heart and change you forever. Beware.
I've also been reading lots of other books and articles on the therapy options available for those who are experiencing difficulty coming to terms with their same-sex attraction. This has been...interesting. The range of emotions that I experience while reading about the options available is, well...diverse. I travel from totally infuriated to totally hopeful in a matter of minutes sometimes. I can't help but get really "mama-bear-ish" when I read about the ways people have suffered spiritual abuse at the hands of well-intentioned, poorly qualified/educated Christians who have not dealt with the issue ethically, appropriately, or compassionately. And yes, by "mama-bear-ish" I mean, "I will growl at you and destroy you if you try that again on someone I love. (Growl growl. Bare my teeth!)"
The good news is that there are some good things out there and I have particularly been enjoying reading about Sexual Identity Therapy, which is actual therapy (counseling by a mental health professional) and is gaining some endorsement by key members of the American Psychological Association. Rather than seeking to change orientation, it provides a supportive and encouraging environment for clients who are experiencing difficulty integrating their religious values with their sexual identity. It creates space for the client to determine their values, and for the therapist to assist the client in reaching congruence between his/her values and his/her sexuality. If you want to know more, you can read more here: http://tinyurl.com/3qwe6f2. Ideally, I'd really like to write an article (or perhaps a book someday) on the implications (ethical, moral, spiritual, and social) of the various forms of therapy available for those encountering same-sex attraction, and offer critique of the various organizations offering the different models, their measures of efficacy, etc. But, that's for another day, or probably, another year. Oh pipe dreams!
One other thing I have been doing is intentionally building relationships. I've been meeting with people at my Seminary and the University across the street, in hopes of garnering support for some of the events I have in the works. One of the things I'm working towards is starting a small-group to discuss topics of faith and sexual orientation in a non-threatening way. I want to get this started asap but we are still seeking the right venue to hold it at - a place where people from the college, the seminary, and the community at large can all feel comfortable coming somewhat anonymously. Additionally, I'm hoping that I can advertise the event on both campuses, but will need to go through the proper channels to get that approved, which could take some time.
I've also been immersing myself in the LGBT community, attending LGBT events, etc. here in Lexington to build new relationships. I went to a drag show a few weeks ago with my husband and a friend of his from work. It was not my first time seeing drag, but it was my first time sitting through an entire show, which was a good experience. We went because one of our friends was performing. I know it meant a lot to him that we came. I also was thrilled to have the opportunity to visit the local LGBT support group in Lexington. I got to make some new friends, which is always wonderful. I was grateful for how welcoming and friendly they were to the one straight girl in the room!
Lastly, I am working towards a presence at the Lexington Pride festival. I am going outside of my skin with excitement. I'd really like to have a booth where we offer apologies for how the church has hurt the LGBT community and hand out free food/drinks to bless and serve those that are at the event. My goal is to show them that, despite the ugly signs and protesters, God doesn't hate them, he actually thinks they're pretty amazing.
So, that is what is UP. Whew, I'm worn out just re-counting all of that. Please be praying! There is much that is 'in the works' right now and my prayer is that God would bring it all to fruition in His timing. It has been really neat to see how God is bringing together a group of people around me who are equally excited and dedicated to building these safe environments to discuss faith and sexual orientation. I can't wait to see what happens next! Until next time....LOVE BOLDLY.
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